On Twitter and Hope

Wow. I haven’t written a post like this in a long time. I think I’d been feeling scared of my own physical pain, and using that as a shield to protect me from some of the emotional stuff that has been circling in my own heart at times. And then, through a random set of circumstances this evening, all the fear and urgency of helping one of our own came rushing back.

Through the #FOAMed community on Twitter, I’ve met critical care providers on all levels and of all nationalities, and been able to discuss and learn from them. I’ve read books recommended, listened to podcasts, and added things to my bucket list. Today, when one of the doctors posted this, it through me for a loop

IMG_1635
The young woman who posted this is a beautiful human, living out in Dublin, Ireland. A physician from back east retweeted it, bringing to bear an amazing international response of caring people who were able to track down people who knew different parts of her life, calling, leaving messages, getting her address, and hopefully getting this woman the urgent help she needs.

It has me thinking of my own story, yet again.

It has me remembering being a young, naive EMT, just starting out and being so impressed by the paramedics that I did my first ride-along with. It brings back the first arrest that I remember, a horrific traumatic arrest the day after Christmas, 1996. It brings back the good memories of partners and dancing in the rig, responding to calls and having the best time of my life. It also brings back all of the trauma, heartache, sleepless nights (or days as the case was) because of the nightmares, and the unbelievable heartbreak of getting pages or phone calls that friends had taken their own lives. It reminds me that I was almost one of them, that I had chosen how, had a plan, and through only the grace of God, was I unable to find the right time to follow through with that. This led to a year away from work, then returning to the job I love, only to be faced again with the challenge of being injured and dealing with the chronic pain and multiple surgeries since.

All of this reminds me of the simple fact that we have a place and a role in this universe. We have the opportunity to love those in our world and sphere of influence. We have the chance to look out for our loved ones, our coworkers, and our friends. Often times, those categories overlap. That is fortunate, because that means we are more invested in each other’s lives than most people. When you work as closely as one does in medicine or public safety, there really aren’t many things that we don’t know.

More than that, we know each other. When you see someone showing signs that they might be struggling, we should make the effort to ask. It’s hard to do, without a doubt. It’s uncomfortable to enter into a conversation that really might well offend someone, as many in our professions are so good at putting up walls, compartmentalization, are those that try to be strong. I’ve been on the receiving end of these conversations. I’ve been on the initiating side of them. I’m thankful some of the senior medics looked out for me, and I’ve been thanked (although it took some time) by those I asked about or got a supervisor involved.

IMG_1634

There are so many resources out there that can help. Here are a few:

US and International Resources:

To Write Love On Her Arms – Resources

The Code Green Campaign – Resources

It can also be really hard to ask for help. If you find yourself in this darkness, understand that pain needs to be felt. This is a safety mechanism in our bodies and minds. There is no shame in going to the doctor if you tear your shoulder up, and there is equally no shame in asking for help sorting out the thoughts, feelings, and memories that we all carry. In fact, I would venture to share that almost anyone you share with will think it the greatest honor you can bestow on them. If you are willing to trust them with your life – quite literally – on the job, trust them with your life in this area, as well.

We are wired to help. We want to be there for you.

** As of this writing, I have no idea what the outcome of the situation in Ireland is. If you would, pray or send good thoughts to this young woman. Thanks…